I’ve been facilitating a number of workshops lately, which have included both wāhine and tāne.

One of the things I notice when I ask participants to share their wins is that more often than not, wāhine will say something like this…

“Well… this really isn’t much of a win…” or “…other people have bigger wins than me…” or “… I’m not really good at this but…”.

I notice because I’ve been paying attention to my own words on what I say about myself.

And when I hear someone say anything like the above, I address it directly because I want you to be intentional about what you say about yourself and how you show up.

Every time you speak in front of a new group of people, you have an opportunity to show up authentically with power and presence.

You don’t want to show up with self-deprecation or by diminishing yourself now do you?

Because diminishing ourselves can become an unfortunate habit that reinforces itself.

And the person that has the ultimate control over whether you do this is you.

Most of the time I am mindful of what I say but every now and then I slip up.

Fortunately, I have a friend that pulls me up whenever I slip up in front of her and I am grateful that she does.

I actually wasn’t aware of just how often I was doing it until she brought it to my attention.

Now I’m not going to go into the reasons why I was doing it because it doesn’t really matter.

I just made the decision not to do it anymore.

I mean would I say that to a friend, “Hey that isn’t much of a win?”

Of course not. So why say that to me?

So let me be your friend and say to you, never speak ill of yourself and never bring yourself down.

This is not about being dishonest about yourself. I’m not saying ignore your limitations.

What I am saying is… be intentional about how you show up, bring good energy to your group and be aware of the frequency with which you diminish yourself with your own words.

It’s so powerful to show up authentically and have a full sense of who you are but do not use your words to diminish yourself.


So, my message for you this week is beware what you say about yourself e hoa.

And if you do, I will too.





P.S. I recorded an audio of this blog for my new Podcast. Click HERE to listen to it.